Side-Effects of Unemployment Uncertainty

February 18, 2009 at 12:32 pm Leave a comment

As uncertainty over unemployment rises it is natural that some people will start to experience increased anxiety and levels of stress. With stress can come shorter fuses and the risk of arguments.

Mark Branbenburg, personal coach committed to helping fathers succeed (though we mums – in fact anyone – can benefit from this kind of support too) offers this great advice on avoiding arguments and keeping your home your haven:

 How to Avoid Arguments

1. Be concerned with being kind more than being right.
If you’re kind to your spouse and treat them well, you’ll experience fewer arguments.

2. Develop the fine art of keeping your mouth closed.
There will be many occasions when you’ll want to respond to a comment your spouse has made, and an argument is waiting to happen. Take a hard swallow, and notice that no argument occurs.

3. Talk with your spouse about making the effort to avoid arguments.
Have a specific plan in place you both agree on when things gets tense. If you know you’re both committed to improving, it’s easier to stay committed.

4. Raise your own standards.
What kind of person do you really want to be? In view of how useless arguing is, wouldn’t you rather hold yourself to a high standard, and spend time doing something else?

5. Just walk away from the argument.
Walking away allows you some time to gather your thoughts and to cool down. When your perspective is better, you can continue the discussion from a more objective place.

6. Date your spouse regularly.
A lot of arguments result from things that haven’t been fully explored. It’s crucial to have a way to stay up to date, and create rituals that have the two of you talking. Make the time sacred.

7. Bend the truth now and again.
If it’s between being honest and being kind with your spouse, be kind every time! You can tell her the dinner is awful when she asks, but you increase the chances of conflict. Smile, and tell her it’s delicious.

8. Compliment your spouse twice a day.
One of the major reasons for arguments between couples is that people don’t feel acknowledged. Acknowledge your spouse regularly, and they’ll feel appreciated. Appreciated people are less likely to argue.

9. Know Your Triggers Around Arguing.
Familiarize yourself with what comments and situations trigger your anger and argumentative behavior. What are these about? When do they occur? Learn how you can avoid getting trapped in the future.

10. Make yourself accountable for your arguments.
Have other family members hold you accountable for your behavior. Tell them your working on improving, and would they please remind you if you’re starting to argue again. This puts some teeth behind your commitment.

Warmly,
Mark Brandenburg

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC
mark@eqnow.org
http://www.markbrandenburg.com
http://www.eqnow.org
Phone (+1) 651-766-9976
“Helping Men Succeed”

 Here’s to writing powerful resumes – and living empowered lives

Beverley Neil

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

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